effervescent light. excruciating love. incomprehensible wrath. perseverant darkness.
effervescent light. excruciating love. incomprehensible wrath. perseverant darkness.
An archive of my best written pieces, brought to you for analysis, enjoyment, and discovery. Made up of two volumes and spanning October 2025 to Present Day, these were written
Shadows of the Diaphene -Volume 1
October 2025 - March 2026
Volume I is a collection written throughout the middle of my Junior year of high school, split into sectors based on topic and ordered chronologically. Romance, Religion, Resilience, and Sorrow.
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curses swirl around you, a fog that chokes your mind
feel the darkness seep through the seams, every crack filled with a lashing black that corrodes your soul
feel the weight of your sins upon you, crushing your body and holding you bound
let the fires of hell scorch your bones, let your screams be broadcast across the night, and be a warning for the ones like you
watch the ground and sky shatter upon you and let your life fall into ruin at the hands of the witch
burnt stems and scorched earth, and the wailing souls of the organic crying out
isolation and solitude pulling you into the abyss, the walls of your pit waxed and unclimbable
feel the needle pierce your lips and pull them tight, a glowing red thread binding your hands and heart
sigils and runes holding you captive, tied to the blade you used to hurt others
black blood thick with hate, the spell only wearing off once you’ve begged and repented
let no more harm come from someone like you, and let my will be done upon you…
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a sinking feeling in my soul, an aching feeling you’ll never know
darkness looming overhead and sleeping child crying in bed
a falling star and flowing silks, a shard of glass and a bleeding wound
but how am i to withstand the weight of this feeling,
when i know there is a light inside me with the power to pierce the sky.
how am i to calm these waves when this ocean is so deep and so vast
when there is a love so profound in encapsulates the mind and its branches
when the tree is strangled by its vines and the eyes begin to be covered by roses
let every flowing veil hold a piece of my soul, and let every fallen tears hold the sorrow of a century
and only when the sky is overcast will you see me, singing symphonies by the sea
and holding out a hope that you’ll finally be with me.
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swirling lights and self expression, against a fire I find power and desire.
identity found only within dark and smoke, fictions in the sky and audacity to deny.
arbitrary rules and laws with no application.
truth cannot be manipulated to make lies more valid, and the righteousness of religion, does not dismiss persecution in devotion to the divine.
denials of the heart do not silence the songs of the soul.
why do we teach our children to divide and conquer, and why do we take the purity of curiosity as something to crush and crucify?
We replace the light of discovery for the embers of desolation, then wonder why the people search for signs of being alive.
Let the numbness of our broken spirits become one with the dying planet, haunt the remnants of this hollowed earth for years to come…
And let the rising generations find evidence of our despairs in the rubble of our revolutions.
One day we will all stand at the mirror and see the light of resolve, and the ground will rumble as the earth heals.
Taking us down with it, because why are we resorting to worshipping the executioner, when our Mother Earth is already at the guillotine.
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feet on the ground, pace fast and furied, let me be free to a place with no worries
in distance there may be dissolution, and if there isnt its fine
its easier to run from your problems if it gets them off your mind
and in every setting sunset and in every sparkling star, i’ll wonder what you’re thinking and how you are
and with every leaf from every forest, and every fern, vine, and flower
ill run and ill run, no matter how tall my burdens tower
and once i get to a foggy town, in the corner with the pacific northwestern breeze
and as i imagine you holding me, hands held up to the horizon, I’ll surrender to the ocean and be swept away by the sea
and under the rushing water and i’ll find no reprieve from my rippling thoughts
ill find no distance can free me from my heart, no matter how far i go or how much i tear myself apart.
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how many days will the restlessness sit in your heart?
let light pour through my body, let me refract and reflect what you want from me
sitting in the silence being split in 3, and being pieced back together like a collage
the blades tear the fabric, but how many pieces have i taken that are not mine?
what parts of me have always been you, is my palace built from tiles of the pillaged and plundered?
and at that point am i even myself, or am i a prism of my environment, reflecting only what ive been surrounded in?
and when my soul is split for you to see, are you colorblind and selective?
and at that point am i even myself, or am i a prism of my environment, reflecting only what ive been surrounded in?
and when my soul is split for you to see, are you colorblind and selective?
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spaces between walls and words between realms, fourteen fallen tiles and whispers behind each one
drowning screams in dying dreams, a chapter reborn but are your dreams as dead as they seem?
fading memories gone with the wind like burning polaroids, is it necessary for new pages to bring so much destruction?
walls broken and shattered silences with flowing floods of rumors and blood, an injured eye and crimson glares
do you live in reality or are you within a distorted universe, do you keep your eyes covered as much as you enclose your mind?
when all around is stone do we stand upon the rubble, or do we console and comfort what is soft inside?
i wonder what secrets i’ve shared were left in the gaps, as much as i wonder how many more i’ll lose to time
in what dimension do i have everything i ever wanted, and when will this feeling leave me?
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i watch solemnly as i ache, with thoughts of you bleeding into every night and every day
with seasons flying across the calender such as your eyes that flick across the halls
speaking in stares and sorrow inbetween classes and shadows, setting suns on the horizon and a prayer to be delivered
oh so many cards and candles, coffins hidden in cordial conversations, golden waves glowing like sun rays…
and tears with silver sparkles of moondust that fall only in solitude and silence, with a raging cold that eats one from the inside as is the emptiness of outerspace
ticking clocks and wasting time, waiting and wondering with hope to be mine, 5 shooting stars with an anvil to pass, with metals unhammered that would shatter like glass
a whisper, a rumor, the denial of speech. you hold your tongue as she tells all who seek, who’s more pathetic between you and I?
one who is a lover, or someone so scared of love they deny?
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the future that was once in my grasp now shatters forth like broken glass
the world around me crumbles to dust as devils rise from ash and rust
dimensions split and answers given, smiting down to earth from heaven
a new realm lies ahead of me, new people, new experiences, and new energies
but why have i been forced to leave, all my excitement and all that ive known, you petrified it and turned it to stone
stone suspended in mid air and bound, acids, poisons and minerals simmer
and i spot fate and its strings being hammered and waivered
i see all around me with broken mirrors in front of me, and in the biggest shard myself i see
although the future has been thrown from my hands, i see a version of me with everything ive ever wanted
if the journey to enlightenment proves to be lonely, ill walk my roads alone and leave all that serves as death behind me
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can you see the stories in my eyes, as sailor read from shining stars, i dont do it to be arrogant, i do it to survive
do i display myself as courageous in your eyes, finding myself more of a trooper than a child
does the shock of my story continue to bring me a sense of pride, or am i finally comprehending, leaving only myself to find
my sword set high like a gladiator, blade ripping through the sky, executing my enemies as i let out a cry
the softest hearts need protection, but when does the guard find a moment to unfurl
the world ill sunder for my own sake, bleeding and broken but atop the dead
my truth will become my grave, excalibur everlasting, but a sword can cut both ways
if i find a demon in the eye of my soul, ill feel no pain as my body will not be mine
ill drive my gears forward with spite and rage, i only hope it does not consume all i find pure
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black figure in my field of view, are you a part of me or am i a part of you?
you carve my figure with teeth and claws, oh fluid figure you hold my heart
will you plague me forever in this dark home, with only rays of moonlight in the window
“when will you learn you cant outrun yourself?”
but i’m not running from myself, im running from you
until even in the darkest corners, i know you aren’t in view
my mind must be empty to enjoy the light, how else will i do it if you cover my sight
“when will you give in to the dark of the night?”
i wont, i will run, i will free myself from your grasp
ill run past the world till there is not even time left to pass
ill see all the sights and ill hear all the sounds, as long as it’s your voice that remains drowned out
black figure in my field of view, i think i finally know the truth
“you are a part of me, as much as i am a part of you…”
Light into Being -Volume 2
March 2026 - October 2026
Volume II is a collection written at the end of my Junior Year and will be finished by the fall break of my Senior year. Light into Being is an in-progress volume and serves as a new beginning and continuation of Vol I. Vol II is currently only ordered chronologically.
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will i even be present in my own life, or am i forever meant to watch from the outside
sunsets will shimmer in my view, and i’ll watch towering trees cover the sky
and yet ill be trapped entirely in my own thoughts, derealized and deluded
my life isn’t even my own, only another dream to be mixed in with the rest
i will forget years upon years, ill suppress centuries from my gaze
every decision will be a decimal in my unblinking consciousness
restless nights and reckless mornings only serve to prolong my rushing mind
i only live in the moment to suffer, otherwise i am off in a distant world
all my memories become meaningless if i can’t tell if they’re real…
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lingering devastation, the aftershock of the earthquake
forever will i live in fear? forever will the damage done be like an everlasting scar on the crust?
little things that never worried me, now make me ripple and sink
mundane actions now murder my nervous system, sending me spiraling in the snow
like the catastrophic collision on tectonics, you’ll never know what disaster you’ve caused
i am incapable of being charmed now, only bad omens and faltering luck find me
a shuddering earth synced with my shaking hands, the body remembers just as much as the ground can
ever alert i find myself now, grappling with paranoia and panic from the paradox of my situation
i will find myself fearful time and time again, but bravery does not have to mean fearlessness
i will not conquer my fear, it will be my sword with which i will triumph…
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jagged stone rips the earth apart, rising up from igneous ash and thunder
torn terrain split across many levels, ever so unforgiving yet welcomes beauty in softly
silver and red dust, rugged rocks decorate themselves with their own protrusions
winding roads like the rushing river in its prime, carving this land over time
peppered with circling vultures and ravens, shreding their meat like the mountains
scorching sun irradiating the land, desert slashed by incomprehensible mountain ranges
streaked strata and cawing cardinals, rushing red ridges tower over me like castles in the sand
my blood runs from this place, and i run back to it just as quickly
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i will mourn myself, as the morning star mourns life on its surface
shallow cravings of a solemn soul, appreciations of a lighter time even when i feel heavy
the world has ended for me many, many times, and yet it has still been there for me in these sparkling mornings
quiet contemplation as a day begins to break, splitting across the sky with the sunrise
watching the moving sky, feeling water on my skin, melodies in my ear matching with the shimmering sunrays
rustling leaves and rushing winds, laying down and letting the breeze be my breath
i have inhaled cosmic love and seen its beauty, i have exhaled cosmic hatred and found it intoxicating
i faced the wrath of the sun, the rain, and the thunder… it has led me towards many moments of peace, sorrow, and exaltation
effervescent laughter, excruciating love, incomprehensible wrath…
i am a symphony of so many emotions, limited only by the articulation available by my spoken words…
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Ineverending torment, flowing unto you from ether, moonless night of the starless sky
enveloped within the darkness of my bitter anguish, wither from within the intensity of my hands
a cycle broken, and a cycle repeated, but I have had my blinds removed, and you have freshly lost your vision
all my love i had for you has slipped away, corrupted now into bitterness and disgust
the smile that once charmed me, now serves only to spark fury in my soul
with myself as my guide, my blade drives itself through your heart
unbound by me, unraveled be all of my doing to you, as well as everything else in your life
be free from my grasp, fly as free as your injured wings will carry you
the price of your stubborn freedom will come quicker than you shall expect it to
the void will call you down, call you stronger and louder than i could ever hope to
i am the end of all your beginnings, i will staunch you out…
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star factory spinning in the dead of space, every single star sparkling at a different pace
forging new fires and finding a new face…
looking for another form for me to love, chasing validation like a shark chases blood
looking out on a world that doesn’t know another’s embrace, loneliness in abundance for everyone who fell
made of matter, light and dust, and an overproduction of chemicals that violenly combust
environmental reckoning raining down from above, setting my soul free like white feathered dove
cosmic sorrow, so inescapable, and preachers words that the majority follows, maybe in this lifetime humanity is not something we will truly find…
restless hearts and desperate minds, we all overcompensate for something, and it wrecks us all at the same time…
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nothing holds me back more, than the umbilical cord still bleeding
held tight by my parents, sorrows staining me with their keeling
their control held over my eyes, while my youth continues to be fleeting
these fresh fissures in the ground, veins shuddering with a roaring sound
unpreparedness seeping in like the smell of sulfur, silent killer of this mournful town
the silence is louder than the screams and the yells, blood is thicker than water till it puts you in the ground
freedom comes at a cost to me, a price paid in sanity, but when i cross that threshold will there be anything left of me?
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and here i lay, sleeping away my life in distant dreams
foggy memories and fuzzy minutes, my eyes covered by silver streams…
and here i pace, like a mad dog trapped in a cage,
all jagged teeth and primal instinct, an animal’s story lost to a different page…
and here i watch, hunkering down in a hole watching the world go by
and all that sits within me solidifies in my soul, till nothing but harsh stones come out when i cry…
and here i hide, ripping and rending my flesh with my fingers
tearing myself apart with loud desperate screams, an attempt at unraveling myself like a shrieking singer…
and here i end, vultures flying over me in a desert of the dead
holding onto a feeling of my youth, a rabid wolf that’s never fed.
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eternal damnation, at what point is the denial of life worse than a forever of fire.
even when i thought i was free, that hatred manifests as flickers of something else
yet there is nothing i cant destroy… and i will find a way to sever this connection
there’s nothing for me to want, there’s nothing for me to need, and yet in lonely moments my muscle memory starts to remember you
i refuse to live my final year in desperation over you, i refuse to submit myself to that ever again
my perseverance shall break through this darkness that plagues me, i will not let your lingering visions hinder my light any longer
although i truly belive there was a way, a way into your heart, but maybe this is only an intoxication of desire
this forked path leads me into either the light or and endless death, i refuse to make the wrong choice again
forevermore, i will refuse…
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volatile, violent wrath… irritation that cannot pass
come down now from up above, smite my enemies and all they love
volatile, violent night… steal away their wretched sight
take away all their that’s given, reveal to me promises hidden
volatile, violent soul… an all encompassing cavernous hole
blackened now and turned to rust, may all your beloveds fade to dust
you take from me, i take from you, a tenfold curse that takes it’s dues
escape from me my deathly power, unbound and free it will devour
volatile, violent flame… take away their life and name
make of them a distant memory, and sunder their into an undeniable eternity